Best Tax Quotations

"The term "tax humor"is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code." John F. Iekel

"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation." Laurence J. Peter

"The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes naturally, no one wants to live any other way." Judith Martin

"One thing is clear: The Founding Fathers never intended a nation where citizens would pay nearly half of everything they earn to the government." Ron Paul

"Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten." Lord Bramwell

"There is no such thing as a good tax." Winston Churchill



"Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents? " Peg Bracken

"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him." Robert A. Heinlein

"Death, taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them." Margaret Mitchell

"We must care for each other more, and tax each other less." Bill Archer

"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has." Will Rogers

"They can't collect legal taxes from illegal money." Al Capone


"If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead - if you strike oil." J.P. Getty

"Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay." Milton Friedman

"Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant: animals have instincts, we have taxes." Erving Goffman

"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." Herman Wouk

"I owe the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat." Michael McShane

"The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect." Sam Ewing

"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons." Douglas Adams

"The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by: Satan. But he works through the Congress, so that's where we must focus our efforts." Dave Barry

"I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside." Ken Dodd

"Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." Charles Rossotti

"In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other." Voltaire